So it was a wonderfully magical day yesterday when I woke up to high winds, pouring rain, and charcoal skies. It was also the day of my second rehearsal with the Vespertine Orchestra. It seemed like the weather colluded with my calendar and created an atmosphere perfect for dark, ambient, experimental music-making.
For me, performing with a band is something I have always wanted to do. I grew up singing in choirs and acting in musicals all throughout my middle and high school days. I thought I would become the next big musical star. Little did I realize then that I am not really musically inclined. I can't really hold a beat, and I sing out of key.
I came to this realization after taking some time away from singing in college when I had to focus on work and study instead of art. I got behind the mic at a karaoke bar in my early 20s and started belting some Journey. As I sang, I heard for the first time just how out of tune I was and how I was always a beat or two behind. Hearing my out-of-tune and arrhythmic voice wasn't dream shattering as I had already come to an understanding that I wasn't going to be a musical star, but it did halt any dreams of performing with a band.
Now, I am 36, and my dreams have evolved. I dream of creating in community, of expressions that reveal light and dark, of magical mornings furiously scribbling, of camaraderie between artists and musicians and performers and writers and audience. My dreams are not tied to location or roles or achievements that can be checked off lists. They are more abstract and less tangible. My dreams are inspirations that live both while I sleep and while awake.
I have also learned that everything repeats itself and that if one is patient and seizes opportunities, one can even make childhood dreams come true. My childhood dream will become real on Sunday, December 16th when I perform with The Vespertine Orchestra at A Dark December Night. And it is all because I didn't stop dreaming. Rather, I dreamed even more.
SUNDAY, December 16 | 7:30pm
Progressive Grounds Mission
2301 Bryant Street, SF
CLICK HERE for a listing of additional performances Jason is giving throughout December.